No more shopping tantrums!

By Alison Rowe, Child & Adult Psychologist

Imagine shopping with your children in peace - no more tantrums at the shops! Is this really possible? No more time wasted. No more embarrassing moments. No more stress for parents.

Most of us find shopping challenging. It is a multi-skilled task, where you try to compare prices, think of what you are going to cook for the next few nights, check labels and desperately try to remember the name of that person who has just said “hello” to you. Adding a child is bound to increase the stress levels. You need to watch your child like a hawk, refuse ongoing demands for lollies and toys and of course deal with those dreaded temper tantrums. However, there is hope! Here are a few strategies to prevent tantrums.

Teach your child how to shop. Develop a short list of specific rules about expected behaviour before you shop. Write the rules down. Encourage your child to help you to draw a picture for each rule or to cut out pictures from a magazine. If possible, create a rhyme or song for the rules and rehearse them together. Ask the child to repeat the rules before entering the shop. Be consistent with the rules and reinforce the rules within other activities throughout the day. For example, while playing shops or create a bedtime story about a child shopping and obeying the rules.

Provide praise for good behaviour. Make the shopping experience as positive as possible by singing, playing games and developing learning experiences (counting vegetables, playing “I spy”). Allocate responsibilities to the child to further enhance their self esteem such as holding a shopping basket, retrieving food items or helping you to empty the trolley. Give your child rewards, preferably not lollies or toys, for good behaviour. Try a reward chart. Choose a good time of the day to go shopping, preferably when you and your child are not tired and irritable.

Develop good shopping habits at a young age. Remember you are the main role model for your child. It is your role to say “No”, be firm, consistent and have realistic expectations. Be patient as an increase in temper tantrums tends to occur before a decrease.

There are other strategies which may enhance your shopping experience. If you require assistance with preventing and managing temper tantrums, arrange a consultation with your local Psychologist.